Use Focus Mode to pause distracting apps, not just relying on your own willpower to avoid them
The “Off” Switch for Temptation
Imagine you’re trying to work, but your desk is covered in delicious, freshly-baked cookies (your social media apps). Relying on willpower is like trying to ignore them all day; eventually, your resolve will crumble. Focus Mode is a magic button that instantly places a locked glass box over all those cookies. You can still see them, but you can’t touch them until the timer is up. It’s not about having more willpower; it’s about creating an environment where you don’t need to use it, freeing your mind to concentrate on the real meal.
Stop charging your phone by your bed. Do charge it in another room overnight instead to improve your sleep
Evict Your Noisy Roommate
Imagine trying to get a good night’s sleep with a hyperactive, noisy roommate sitting by your bed, constantly tapping you on the shoulder with “important” news and gossip. That’s your phone. It tempts you into one last scroll and can wake you with buzzing notifications. By charging it in the kitchen, you are politely evicting that roommate for the night. Your bedroom becomes a calm, peaceful sanctuary dedicated to sleep, and your brain finally gets the uninterrupted rest it desperately needs.
Stop just looking at your screen time. Do set daily app timers for your most-used apps instead to actively manage it
The Alarm Bell for Your Attention
Looking at your weekly screen time report is like looking at the receipt after a giant shopping spree; the damage is already done, and it only makes you feel bad. Setting an app timer is like going into the store with a strict budget and an alarm clock. You can enjoy your time in the “Instagram store,” but when your 30-minute alarm rings, it’s time to leave. It’s the difference between passively regretting your wasted time and actively taking control of it.
The #1 secret for taking back your attention that social media companies don’t want you to know is to turn your screen to grayscale, making it instantly less appealing
The Off-Switch for the Casino
Your phone screen is a Las Vegas casino. Every bright, flashing red notification and vibrant icon is a slot machine, scientifically designed to give your brain a jolt of pleasure and keep you pulling the lever. Turning your screen to grayscale is like instantly flipping a switch that turns the entire casino into a dull, black-and-white library. The games are still there, but the flashing lights and psychological rewards are gone. The addictive pull vanishes, and you’re suddenly free to walk away.
I’m just going to say it: The “endless scroll” interface is a deliberately addictive design that is detrimental to your mental health
The Bottomless Bowl of Chips
Imagine you’re eating chips from a bowl. When the bowl is empty, you have a natural stopping point to decide if you’re still hungry. The endless scroll is a magic bowl that never empties. Just as you reach the bottom, more chips instantly appear. It’s a design that intentionally bypasses your brain’s “I’m full” signal, keeping you mindlessly consuming for hours. There is no finish line, no moment of satisfaction, just an infinite, greasy treadmill designed to hold your attention captive.
The reason you feel anxious is because you have notifications enabled for everything, not because you’re actually that busy
The Doorbell for Every Passing Car
Imagine if your doorbell didn’t just ring when a guest arrived, but for every car that drove down your street, every bird that landed on your roof, and every junk mail delivery. You would be a nervous wreck, constantly in a state of alert. That’s your phone with default notifications. By turning off non-essential alerts, you are fixing your doorbell so it only rings when an actual, important guest is at the door. The world is just as busy, but your mind is finally at peace.
If you’re still using your phone as your morning alarm clock, you’re starting your day with a source of stress and distraction
Waking Up to a Work Memo
Waking up to your phone’s alarm is like having your boss be the one to shake you awake every morning. The very first thing you touch is a device connected to all of life’s demands: work emails, stressful news, and social pressures. You’re starting your day in a reactive, defensive posture. Using a real, simple alarm clock is like waking up to a gentle sunrise. It allows you to start the day on your own terms, giving you a few precious moments of peace before you choose to engage with the world.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about digital wellbeing is that you need a “digital detox.” You need sustainable, daily habits
The Crash Diet vs. a Healthy Lifestyle
A “digital detox”—deleting all your apps for a week—is a crash diet. You might lose a few pounds, but the moment you stop, you’ll gain it all back because you haven’t learned anything. True digital wellbeing is not a crash diet; it’s a healthy lifestyle. It’s built on small, sustainable, daily habits: charging your phone in the kitchen, setting app timers, and going for a walk without your device. These are the simple choices that lead to a long-term, healthy relationship with technology.
I wish I knew about the “Bedtime Mode” feature when I was younger; it would have saved me from countless nights of mindless scrolling
The Gentle, Automated Sunset
Trying to put your phone down at night requires willpower when your brain wants more stimulation. Bedtime Mode is a gentle, automatic sunset for your phone. At your chosen time, it drains the color from the screen, silences notifications, and reminds you it’s time to rest. It doesn’t just ask you to put the phone down; it makes the phone less interesting to look at. It’s the digital equivalent of drawing the curtains and dimming the lights, signaling to your brain that the day is over.
99% of users make this one mistake: checking their phone the moment they wake up, hijacking their morning focus
Letting a Stranger Set Your Day’s Agenda
When you check your phone the moment you wake up, you are letting a hundred random voices—emailers, advertisers, and angry commenters—be the first thing you hear. It’s like opening your front door to a chaotic crowd and letting them set the agenda for your entire day. By waiting just 30 minutes, you give yourself the chance to wake up, set your own priorities, and decide what kind of day you want to have before you let the noise of the outside world rush in.
This one small action of turning off notification badges (the red dots) will remove the constant visual “itch” to check your apps forever
Erasing the Mysterious Red Scribbles
Those little red dots on your apps are like a mysterious red scribble on a closed door. Your brain sees it and feels an irresistible “itch” to find out what’s inside. It’s a psychological trick to keep you coming back. Turning off the notification badges in your settings is like magically erasing all those red scribbles. The doors are all still there, but the urgent, nagging itch to open every single one of them is finally gone, leaving your mind feeling calmer and less cluttered.
Use a “Notification Summary” to batch your non-urgent notifications, not letting them interrupt you throughout the day
The Once-a-Day Mail Delivery
Constant notifications are like a mailman who rings your doorbell every single time a single letter arrives, all day long. It’s a massive, pointless interruption. A Notification Summary is like telling that mailman, “Please hold all my non-urgent mail, and just deliver it to me once, at 5 PM.” You still get all your messages, but they arrive in one neat, organized batch that you can deal with on your own schedule, transforming a constant stream of interruptions into one single, manageable moment.
Stop reacting to every buzz and ding. Do customize your notification sounds so you can distinguish between urgent and non-urgent alerts
The Family Doorbell vs. the Pizza Flyer
If your doorbell sounds the same for a loved one as it does for someone dropping off a pizza flyer, you’re forced to treat every ring with the same urgency. Customizing your notification sounds is like installing a special, musical doorbell that only rings for your family. You can set a unique sound for texts from your partner or kids, while leaving a generic, quiet “ding” for everything else. Now, you can instantly tell from the sound alone if an alert is worth your immediate attention.
Stop using your phone on the toilet. Do give your brain a few minutes of boredom instead
The Empty Room for Your Brain
For centuries, moments of quiet solitude were a normal part of life. We are now so terrified of being alone with our thoughts that we take a supercomputer with us to the bathroom. This constant stream of input robs our brain of the chance to process thoughts, make connections, and be creative. Giving yourself just a few minutes of screen-free boredom is like giving your brain a quiet, empty room to stretch out in. It’s in those quiet moments that our best ideas are often born.
The #1 hack for a more peaceful life is to turn off all notifications for email and social media apps
The “Open” Sign on Your Brain’s Shop
Leaving notifications on for social media and email is like hanging a flashing, 24/7 “Open for Business” sign on the front of your brain. Any app, at any time, can barge in and make a demand on your attention. Turning these notifications off is like flipping that sign to “Closed.” You are still in the shop, but now you decide when to open the door and check for customers. This single action transforms you from a reactive, overwhelmed cashier to a calm, focused business owner.
I’m just going to say it: You are not obligated to reply to a message the second you receive it
The Unspoken Contract You Never Signed
The instant delivery of a text message has created an unspoken social contract that you must reply instantly. But you never signed this contract. A text message is a letter, not a summons. It is a request for your attention, not a demand. Giving yourself permission to answer on your own schedule is a revolutionary act of self-care. It allows you to finish your current thought, your meal, or your conversation before graciously turning your attention to the letter that just arrived.
The reason you can’t focus is that your phone is on your desk, face up, acting as a constant source of potential distraction
The Unwatched Television in the Room
Trying to focus on your work while your phone is face up on your desk is like trying to read a book in a room with a television that is on, but muted. Even though there’s no sound, your eyes will constantly flicker towards the screen, your brain anticipating that something might happen. The mere presence of that potential distraction is enough to fracture your focus. Putting your phone in a drawer or in another room is like turning the television completely off.
If you’re still carrying your phone in your hand everywhere you go, you’re creating a physical dependency on it
The Security Blanket for Adults
As children, some of us had a security blanket we carried everywhere for comfort. As adults, our phone has become that blanket. We hold it in our hand while walking, waiting in line, or even just sitting on the couch. It’s a physical habit that signals a deeper dependency. By making a conscious effort to put it in your pocket or your bag, you are breaking that physical link and teaching your brain that you can, in fact, navigate the world safely without your digital security blanket.
The biggest lie is that being “connected” 24/7 makes you more productive or a better friend
The Overly-Attentive Waiter
Being constantly connected is like having a waiter who hovers over your table every second of your meal, interrupting your conversation every 30 seconds to ask if you need anything. It doesn’t make the meal better; it makes it a stressful, fragmented experience. True productivity comes from deep, uninterrupted focus. True friendship comes from present, attentive conversation. Both are destroyed by the constant “connectedness” that our devices promise but rarely deliver.
I wish I knew how to set up different “profiles” for work and personal life to create a real boundary
The Two Different Uniforms
Going to work involves putting on a uniform and a certain mindset. When you come home, you change your clothes to relax. A “Work Profile” on your phone is a digital uniform. With one tap, it can hide all your distracting personal apps and silence your group chats. When you tap it again at 5 PM, your work apps can be set to disappear completely. It creates a powerful, digital boundary that helps you be fully “at work” when you’re on the clock, and fully “at home” when you’re not.
99% of users have never done a “notification audit” to see which apps are actually serving them and which are just stealing their attention
Weeding Your Digital Garden
Your phone’s notifications are a garden. Some are beautiful flowers that bring you joy (a message from a loved one). Many are aggressive weeds that are just trying to choke out the flowers (a “20% off!” sale from a shopping app). A notification audit is the act of getting on your hands and knees and finally weeding your garden. For each app, you must ask: “Does this bring me joy, or does it just demand my attention?” Be ruthless. Pluck every single weed.
This one small habit of putting your phone away during meals will improve your relationships and your digestion forever
The “No Open Laptops” Rule at the Dinner Table
You wouldn’t have a serious conversation with someone while they have an open laptop, typing away. It would be rude and dehumanizing. Bringing your phone to the dinner table is the same thing. Putting it away is a simple but profound act of respect. It tells the people you are with, “You are more important than anything that could happen on this screen.” It fosters real connection and allows you to be present for both your food and your company.
Use the “Heads Up” feature to stop you from dangerously using your phone while walking
The Digital Curb Alert
We’ve all seen someone dangerously walk into a street or a pole while staring at their phone. The “Heads Up” feature is a simple, digital curb alert. When your phone detects that you are walking while also looking at the screen, it will periodically flash a simple warning: “Heads up. Be careful.” It’s a gentle, non-judgmental nudge from your own device, a little voice of reason that reminds you to pay attention to the physical world before you run into it.
Stop consuming content passively. Do schedule time for intentional phone use, like reading an article or calling a friend
The TV Guide for Your Phone
Passively using your phone is like sitting on the couch and just flipping through channels endlessly, hoping something good comes on. Intentional use is like looking at the TV guide, finding a movie you actually want to watch, and tuning in at that specific time. By deciding beforehand, “At 7 PM, I’m going to use my phone to read that article I saved,” you are transforming your device from a passive time-waster into an active, purposeful tool that serves your goals.
Stop just having a phone. Do cultivate hobbies that don’t involve a screen
The Well-Stocked Workshop
Your phone is a powerful, multi-purpose tool, like a Dremel. But a workshop with only a Dremel is a sad place. A rich and fulfilling life is a well-stocked workshop. It has paintbrushes, a workbench for woodworking, and a set of gardening tools. Cultivating screen-free hobbies—playing an instrument, hiking, cooking, painting—fills your workshop with a variety of tools. This ensures that when you have a moment of free time, your only option isn’t the same, single, buzzing Dremel.
The #1 secret for a better evening is to set a “no-phone” time one hour before you go to bed
The Cool-Down Lap for Your Brain
Your brain is a high-performance engine. You can’t just switch it off from 6,000 RPM. It needs a cool-down lap. The blue light and the stimulating content from your phone are like flooring the accelerator right before you get to the finish line. Setting a “no-phone” rule for the last hour of your day is that crucial cool-down lap. It allows your brain to gradually slow down, to process the day, and to prepare itself for a deep and restful period of sleep.
I’m just going to say it: The person you are online should be consistent with the person you are in real life
The Mask That Becomes Your Face
The anonymity of the internet is a powerful mask. It can tempt us to be angrier, more critical, or more performative than we would ever be in a face-to-face conversation. But if you wear a mask for long enough, it can start to change the shape of your own face. The ultimate act of digital wellbeing is integrity. It’s ensuring that your words, your kindness, and your character are the same whether you are typing them into a comment box or speaking them to a friend.
The reason you feel “phantom vibrations” is your brain has been trained to anticipate notifications, a classic sign of addiction
The Ghost in Your Pocket
This is a wild and common phenomenon. Your brain has become so conditioned to the phone’s vibration being a potential reward—a new like, a new message—that it starts to imagine them. It’s the digital equivalent of Pavlov’s dogs salivating at the sound of a bell, even when there’s no food. Feeling that ghost in your pocket is a clear signal that the connection has gone too deep, and it’s time to take a step back and retrain your brain’s expectations.
If you’re still using your phone as a tool to avoid awkward social situations, you’re missing opportunities for real human connection
The Portable Escape Hatch
Standing in a line or waiting for a friend can be a bit awkward. Our phone has become a portable escape hatch. The moment we feel a pang of social discomfort, we pull it out and vanish into a private digital world. But those small, in-between moments are where real life happens. It’s where you might share a smile with a stranger, notice something beautiful, or simply learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t use your escape hatch unless there’s a real fire.
The biggest lie is that you are “multitasking” when you’re on your phone; you are actually “context switching,” which is highly inefficient
The Juggler with Too Many Balls
True multitasking is a myth. When you think you’re juggling five different tasks, you’re actually just dropping four balls to catch one, then frantically picking up another. Your brain is not doing multiple things at once; it’s just switching between them incredibly rapidly. This “context switching” is mentally exhausting and highly inefficient. It’s far better to give your full attention to one single ball for a set period of time, which is the secret to both productivity and peace.
I wish I knew that a messy, cluttered homescreen contributes to a feeling of mental clutter
The Messy Desk, The Messy Mind
Imagine trying to work at a desk that is buried under piles of junk mail, old newspapers, and random knick-knacks. The visual chaos of the desk would create a feeling of mental chaos. Your phone’s homescreen is your digital desk. A cluttered screen, filled with dozens of apps you never use and blinking widgets, creates a constant, low-level hum of mental static. A clean, minimalist homescreen with only the essential tools creates a feeling of calm, focus, and control.
99% of users don’t use the “Do Not Disturb” mode’s scheduling features to automate their focus time
The Automatic “Closed for Lunch” Sign
You know you need to focus between 1 PM and 3 PM every day. Manually turning on “Do Not Disturb” is like having to remember to hang the “Closed for Lunch” sign on your door every single day. Scheduling it is like installing an automatic, timed lock. Every day at 1 PM, the door to your brain automatically locks, and all interruptions are held at the front desk. At 3 PM, it unlocks. You don’t have to think about it; your focus time is protected automatically.
This one small action of curating your social media feeds to be positive and inspiring will change your outlook on life forever
The Diet for Your Mind
You understand that if you eat a diet of greasy junk food, you will feel sluggish and unwell. Your social media feed is a diet for your mind. If you feed it a constant stream of outrage, envy, and negativity, your mental state will reflect that. Actively unfollowing or muting every account that makes you feel bad and seeking out those that inspire, teach, or make you laugh is the single most powerful act of mental hygiene you can perform. You are what you consume.
Use a minimalist launcher to reduce visual clutter and the number of choices on your screen
The Simple Menu vs. The Endless Buffet
The default phone screen is an endless, all-you-can-eat buffet, with a hundred different tantalizing and unhealthy options screaming for your attention. It’s designed to make you over-consume. A minimalist launcher is a simple, elegant restaurant with a fixed menu. It offers you only a few, high-quality, essential choices: Phone, Messages, Camera, Maps. By dramatically reducing the number of choices, you remove the decision fatigue and the temptation to mindlessly graze, leaving you feeling calmer and more satisfied.
Stop using your phone as a crutch for boredom. Do let your mind wander and be creative
The Soil for Your Ideas
Boredom is not a problem to be solved; it is the soil from which creativity and new ideas grow. When we have a moment of downtime and instantly reach for our phone, we are paving over that fertile soil with a layer of concrete. We are robbing our brains of the essential, quiet moments needed to make new connections, to solve background problems, and to simply be present. The next time you feel bored, try to see it as an opportunity, not an affliction.
Stop just using your phone. Do ask yourself “Why am I picking up my phone right now?” before you unlock it
The Pause Button Before the Purchase
This one simple question is a superpower. It’s the pause button between the impulse and the action. It’s like asking yourself, “Do I really need this?” right before you buy something at a store. Often, the answer is, “I’m just bored,” or “I’m avoiding a task.” This small moment of mindfulness allows you to make a conscious choice. Are you picking up a tool for a specific purpose, or are you just opening a door to a distraction?
The #1 hack for breaking a phone addiction is to make your lock screen password long and inconvenient to type
The High Shelf for the Cookie Jar
If you want to eat fewer cookies, don’t leave the cookie jar on the coffee table. Put it on a high, inconvenient shelf that requires you to get a step stool. Making your password a long, complex sentence that you have to deliberately type out is putting your phone in that high-shelf cookie jar. It adds just enough friction to the process that you will no longer mindlessly reach for it a hundred times a day. You will only make the effort when you actually, truly want a cookie.
I’m just going to say it: The “like” button is a tool for social validation that has been weaponized to keep you engaged
The Slot Machine That Pays in Compliments
The “like” button is not a simple expression of appreciation. It is the lever on a slot machine that is programmed to pay out in the currency of social validation. Every “like” is a small, satisfying “ding” that tells your brain you are approved of, which keeps you coming back to pull the lever again and again. It has rewired our social interactions to be a performance for digital applause, and it is the primary engine of the attention economy.
The reason you compare yourself to others is that your social media feed is a highlight reel, not real life
Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Their Final Cut
Scrolling through social media is like watching a constant stream of everyone else’s greatest hits, their perfectly edited movie trailers, and their award-show acceptance speeches. You, meanwhile, are intimately aware of your own messy, unedited, behind-the-scenes footage, complete with all the mistakes and boring parts. This is not a fair comparison. You are comparing your daily reality to someone else’s curated fantasy, a recipe for guaranteed dissatisfaction.
If you’re still sleeping with your phone within arm’s reach, you’re compromising your sleep quality
The Unfinished Work on Your Nightstand
You wouldn’t sleep with a pile of unfinished tax returns on your nightstand. The mere presence of that stressful work would make it harder to relax and fall asleep. Your phone is a portal to all of life’s work and anxieties. Keeping it within arm’s reach, even if it’s on silent, is a constant, subconscious reminder of everything you could be doing. Moving it across the room creates the physical and mental space you need to truly disconnect and rest.
The biggest lie is that you “need” to be on every social media platform
The Fear of Missing the Party
Social media platforms are like giant, ongoing parties. The lie is that you need to be at every single party, all at once, or you’ll miss something important. In reality, this just means you’re having a dozen shallow, distracted conversations instead of a few deep, meaningful ones. It’s okay to decide that some parties aren’t for you. Choosing one or two platforms that you genuinely enjoy is far healthier than trying to be everywhere at once.
I wish I knew how to turn off the “read receipts” in messaging apps to remove the pressure of instant replies
The Open Office with a Tattletale
Read receipts—the little words that say “Read at 2:05 PM”—are like working in an open office where a tattletale colleague shouts, “Hey everyone, Sarah just read your memo!” the moment you look at it. It creates an instant, artificial pressure to drop everything and respond. Turning them off is like getting your own private office with a door you can close. You can read your mail at your own pace and respond thoughtfully, without the whole world watching and waiting.
99% of users don’t realize that the blue light from their screen can interfere with their sleep cycle
The Artificial Sunrise
Your brain has a natural clock that is deeply tuned to the light of the sun. As the sun sets, the light becomes warmer, signaling that it’s time to produce melatonin and prepare for sleep. The bright, blue-toned light from your phone’s screen is like a tiny, artificial sunrise. When you stare at it late at night, you are essentially telling your brain, “It’s morning! Wake up!” This can delay sleep, reduce its quality, and leave you feeling tired the next day.
This one small habit of uninstalling one app you don’t use every week will declutter your digital life forever
The Weekly Spring Cleaning
Our phones are like our homes; they accumulate clutter over time. We download an app for a single purpose and then it sits there for years, like an old appliance gathering dust in the garage. Committing to uninstalling just one useless app every single week is a gentle but powerful form of digital spring cleaning. Over a year, you will have removed 52 pieces of junk from your digital home, leaving it feeling lighter, cleaner, and more organized.
Use the “Wind Down” feature to gently remind you that it’s time to go to bed
The Gentle Nudge from a Friend
“Wind Down” is the digital equivalent of a kind friend who gently taps you on the shoulder at 10 PM and says, “Hey, wasn’t our goal to get to bed earlier? Maybe we should start winding down.” It’s not a scolding alarm clock; it’s a supportive reminder. By turning the screen to grayscale and enabling Do Not Disturb, it helps you stick to your own goals, acting as an accountability partner in your pocket that helps you build better habits.
Stop checking the news first thing in the morning. Do practice mindfulness or gratitude instead
Choosing Your First Meal of the Day
Your morning mind is hungry for its first meal of information. Checking the news is like starting your day with a breakfast of spicy, anxiety-inducing junk food. It sets a reactive and stressful tone for the next 16 hours. Practicing a few moments of mindfulness, gratitude, or simply sitting with a cup of coffee in silence is like starting your day with a calm, nourishing, and healthy meal. It provides the stable energy you need to handle whatever the world throws at you later.
Stop letting your phone’s algorithm decide what you see. Do actively seek out content from creators you trust
The Personal Shopper vs. The Impulse Buy Aisle
Letting the algorithm feed you content is like walking through a supermarket where a salesperson is constantly shoving sugary snacks and impulse buys into your cart. You end up consuming a lot of junk you never intended to. Actively going to the websites, channels, or podcasts of creators you trust is like making a shopping list and going directly to the healthy, organic aisle. You are consciously choosing your information diet instead of letting a corporation’s algorithm choose it for you.
The #1 secret for being more present is to leave your phone in the car when you go out with friends or family
Burning the Escape Raft
When you go out with friends, your phone is a tiny, personal escape raft. The moment the conversation lulls or you feel a hint of boredom, you can hop in your raft and float away to a digital island. Leaving your phone in the car is like burning that escape raft. You are committing to being fully present on the main island with the people you are with. You have no choice but to engage, to listen, and to be a part of the moment you are in.
I’m just going to say it: If an app is free, you are the product. Your attention is what’s being sold
The Free Lunch with a Catch
There is no such thing as a free lunch, and there is no such thing as a free social media app. You are not the customer; you are the product on the shelf. The app’s real customers are the advertisers who are paying for access to your eyeballs and your attention. The entire platform—the endless scroll, the notifications, the “like” button—is designed not for your wellbeing, but to keep your eyeballs on the shelf for as long as possible so they can sell more of you.
The reason you feel uninformed is not a lack of information, but an overabundance of it
Trying to Drink from a Firehose
You are not thirsty because there is no water. You are thirsty because you are trying to drink from a firehose. The endless, 24/7 stream of news, opinions, and updates is too much for any human brain to process. The feeling of being uninformed is actually a symptom of being overwhelmed. The solution is not to drink more from the firehose, but to turn it down to a gentle, manageable trickle by curating your sources and setting strict limits.
If you’re still in a dozen noisy group chats, you’re letting other people’s priorities dictate your day
The Meeting You Can’t Leave
A noisy group chat is a meeting that you are forced to attend, all day, every day, with no agenda and no moderator. Every single notification is someone else pulling you away from your own priorities to deal with theirs. Muting these conversations, or leaving them entirely, is not rude. It’s the equivalent of politely saying, “I can’t attend this meeting right now, but I will check the minutes later.” It’s the essential act of protecting your own schedule.
The biggest lie is that you are missing out on something important if you’re not constantly checking your phone
The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
This feeling has been masterfully engineered. The “fear of missing out” is the engine that powers the attention economy. The truth is, you are not missing out. The world will continue to spin if you don’t see a picture of your friend’s lunch the moment it’s posted. Real life, the things happening right in front of you, is what you are actually missing out on when you are staring at your screen. The important things will find you.
I wish I knew that I could turn off autoplaying videos in every single social media app
The TV That Turns Itself On
The autoplay video feature is like having a television in your room that automatically turns on at full volume every time you walk by it. It’s a jarring, attention-grabbing trick designed to suck you into a vortex of content you didn’t choose to watch. Going into the settings of every app and turning this “feature” off is like finding the master remote control. You are taking back the power to decide when, and if, the television should play.
99% of users treat every notification with the same level of urgency, which is a recipe for anxiety
The Fire Alarm and the Toaster Oven
Your brain treats every notification as a potential fire alarm. It’s an urgent, “drop everything” signal. But most notifications are just the toaster oven letting you know your toast is ready. If you treat the toaster oven with the same panic as the fire alarm, you will live in a constant state of needless anxiety. The key is to silence the toaster oven (by turning off non-essential notifications) so that you can give the real fire alarms the attention they deserve.
This one small action of creating a “distraction” folder on the last page of your homescreen for time-wasting apps will make you less likely to open them
Hiding the Cookies on the Top Shelf
You can’t get rid of all the cookies in your house, but you don’t have to keep them in a beautiful glass jar on the counter. By taking your most addictive social media and game apps and burying them in a folder labeled “Junk Food” on the very last page of your homescreen, you are putting them on the highest, most inconvenient shelf in the pantry. You can still get to them, but it now requires a conscious, multi-step effort, which is often enough to break the spell of a mindless habit.
Use a physical alarm clock, not your phone
The Gentle Wake-Up Call
Using your phone as an alarm guarantees that the first thing your brain interacts with is a gateway to infinite stress and distraction. A physical alarm clock has one job. It is a simple, dedicated tool. It wakes you up, and then its work is done. It doesn’t tempt you with emails, it doesn’t show you bad news, and it doesn’t suck you into a social media vortex. It allows you to wake up and start your day in your own world, not someone else’s.
Stop just consuming. Do use your phone to create something, like a photo, a note, or a song
The Pen, Not Just the Magazine
Your phone can be a glossy magazine, a passive tool for endlessly consuming other people’s content. Or, it can be a beautiful pen and a blank notebook. The feeling of creating something—whether it’s taking a thoughtful photo, writing down a new idea in a notes app, recording a melody, or sending a kind message—is infinitely more satisfying than the empty calories of passive consumption. Shift the balance. Use your powerful tool to make your own mark on the world.
Stop letting your phone be the first and last thing you see every day
Your Day’s Bookends
The moments right after you wake up and right before you fall asleep are two of the most powerful and impressionable moments of your day. They are the bookends that hold your entire day together. By making your phone the object you see in those moments, you are choosing to bookend your life with distraction, anxiety, and other people’s priorities. Choose a better set of bookends: a real book, a journal, a moment of quiet thought, or a conversation with a loved one.
The #1 hack for a better weekend is to disable your work email and messaging notifications on Friday evening
Leaving the Office on Friday
You wouldn’t work all week, leave the office on Friday, and then have all your work mail forwarded to your home for the weekend. That would be insane. But that is exactly what you are doing when you leave your work notifications on. Disabling them on Friday evening is the digital equivalent of locking your office door and leaving your work phone on your desk. It creates a real, tangible boundary that allows your weekend to be a time for rest and recovery, not just a different place to do work.
I’m just going to say it: The term “Digital Wellbeing” is a corporate attempt to solve a problem that corporations created
The Fox Guarding the Henhouse
The same companies that hire armies of psychologists and designers to make their products as addictive as possible are now the ones offering you “tools” to manage your addiction. It’s like a casino offering a “responsible gambling” pamphlet at the door while simultaneously optimizing their slot machines to be more hypnotic. While the tools can be helpful, it’s important to remember that this is a problem they created and profit from, and true wellbeing comes from your own choices, not their features.
The reason you can’t read a book is your attention span has been fractured by constant context switching
The Broken Muscle of Focus
Your attention span is a muscle. If you train it by reading a book for 30 minutes at a time, it will grow strong. If you train it by switching between five different apps every 30 seconds, it will become weak, twitchy, and unable to hold a heavy load. The constant context switching demanded by our phones has trained our focus muscle to be perpetually restless. The only way to rebuild it is to start with small weights: try reading one article, or one page of a book, without any interruptions.
If you’re still using a bright, colorful theme, you’re making your phone more exciting and harder to put down
The Muted, Boring Toy
A child will play with a bright, colorful, noisy toy for hours. They will quickly lose interest in a simple, unpainted wooden block. Your phone is a toy for your brain. By using a bright, colorful theme and wallpaper, you are making it more engaging and desirable. By switching to a simple, dark, or grayscale theme, you are making the toy more boring. The goal is to turn your phone from an exciting source of entertainment into a slightly dull but useful tool.
The biggest lie is that technology is neutral. It is designed to influence your behavior
The Architecture of a Casino
The people who design a casino are not neutral. They make specific choices to influence your behavior. There are no clocks on the walls. The layout is a confusing maze. The lighting is designed to make you lose track of time. Your smartphone is designed in the same way. The pull-to-refresh mechanism, the “like” button, and the endless scroll are not neutral features. They are architectural choices, designed by experts to keep you inside and engaged for as long as possible.
I wish I knew how to set up a “Work Profile” to completely turn off my job when I’m at home
The Off-Switch for Your Career
A Work Profile is the ultimate boundary. It’s like having a separate, dedicated “work phone” that lives inside your personal phone. During the day, you can switch to it and have access to all your work apps and notifications. But at 5 PM, you can press a single “pause” button. In an instant, your entire work life—every app, every notification, every email—vanishes completely. It’s the most powerful and effective way to digitally “leave the office” and reclaim your personal time.
99% of users don’t customize the notification channels within an app, silencing the junk but keeping the important alerts
The Smart Mail Sorter
Most apps have multiple “types” of notifications. It’s like getting mail from a bank; some are useless marketing flyers, and one is an urgent fraud alert. Most people just turn off all mail from the bank. But with notification channels, you can be a smart mail sorter. You can tell the app, “Please continue to deliver the urgent fraud alerts, but I never want to see a marketing flyer from you ever again.” It’s a powerful, granular control that lets you filter the noise without missing the signal.
This one small habit of taking a 5-minute walk without your phone will reset your brain forever
The Palate Cleanser for Your Mind
After tasting a series of strong wines, a sommelier will eat a plain cracker to cleanse their palate and reset their senses. A short walk without your phone is the ultimate palate cleanser for a mind that has been overstimulated by a constant stream of digital information. It allows your brain to stop processing input and simply exist in the real world. The sights and sounds of your neighborhood will reset your senses and break the spell of the screen.
Use an app that locks you out of your phone for a set period, not just a simple timer
The Time-Locked Safe
A simple app timer is a polite suggestion. An app that completely locks you out of your phone is a time-locked safe. For moments when you need absolute, guaranteed, uninterrupted focus, you can place your distracting apps inside this digital safe and set the timer for one hour. For that hour, there is no negotiation. There is no “just one quick peek.” You have made a commitment to your focus, and the app is the vault that helps you honor it.
Stop doomscrolling. Do set a timer and stop when it goes off
The Lifeguard’s Whistle
Doomscrolling through bad news is like being caught in a powerful, depressing riptide. You know you should swim back to shore, but the current keeps pulling you further out to sea. Setting a timer before you open a news or social media app is like having a lifeguard on the beach. You can swim in the ocean of information for a while, but when that timer blows its whistle, it’s your non-negotiable signal to stop, turn around, and swim back to the safety of the real world.
Stop letting your phone interrupt your conversations. Do put it face down on the table
The Third Person in the Conversation
Leaving your phone face up on the table during a conversation is like inviting a third, very rude person to join you. This person will constantly interrupt, flash distracting lights, and try to pull your attention away from the real human being in front of you. Placing your phone face down is a simple, powerful, non-verbal signal. It tells your friend, “For this period of time, you are my priority. This conversation is more important than anything that could happen on this screen.”
The #1 secret for a mindful life is to control your technology, not let it control you
The Rider and the Horse
Technology is a powerful and magnificent horse. It can take you to amazing places and help you do incredible things. A mindful life is one where you are the rider, holding the reins, and calmly guiding the horse where you want it to go. An unhealthy life is one where the horse has taken control, and you are just clinging on for dear life as it gallops wildly wherever it pleases. The secret is to never forget who is supposed to be holding the reins.
I’m just going to say it: The most valuable feature on your phone is the “off” button
The Gift of Silence
We obsess over the features that connect us, but we forget the profound power of the one feature that disconnects us. The “off” button is the most underrated and underutilized tool for mental health in the modern world. It is the ultimate act of control. It’s the declaration that you are the master of the device, not the other way around. It is the gateway to the peace, silence, and presence that our overstimulated brains so desperately crave.
The reason you feel mentally exhausted is the constant decision fatigue from managing your digital life
The Air Traffic Controller for Your Brain
Your brain has become an air traffic controller for an airport that never sleeps. Every notification, email, and message is another plane that you have to identify, prioritize, and decide where to land. This endless stream of small decisions, hundreds of times a day, is utterly exhausting. This is “decision fatigue.” Reducing your notifications and simplifying your digital life is like grounding all the non-essential flights, giving your brain the quiet airspace it needs to function.
If you’re still following accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, you are actively choosing to harm your mental health
The Friend Who Always Insults You
Imagine you had a “friend” who, every time you saw them, pointed out your flaws, made you feel insecure, and left you feeling worse about your life. You would, and should, stop spending time with that person immediately. A social media account that triggers your envy or makes you feel inadequate is that toxic friend. The “unfollow” button is your right to end that unhealthy relationship and to curate a social circle, both online and off, that lifts you up, not tears you down.
The biggest lie is that you can have a healthy relationship with a device that is designed to be addictive
The Tame Lion
You can have a relationship with a lion. You can feed it, you can respect its power, and you can learn its patterns. But you must never, ever forget that you are in a relationship with a lion. A smartphone is not a neutral tool; it is a device that has been engineered by thousands of the smartest people in the world to capture and hold your attention. You can manage that relationship, but you must always do so with a healthy dose of caution and a deep respect for its power.
I wish I knew that boredom is the precursor to creativity, and my phone was robbing me of it
The Empty Canvas
Boredom is not a void; it is an empty canvas. It is the mental space where your brain, free from the constant bombardment of external stimulation, can finally start to paint its own pictures. It’s where you make unexpected connections, solve stubborn problems, and come up with your most original ideas. Every time we fill a moment of boredom with a quick scroll through our phone, we are taking that empty canvas and splattering it with someone else’s boring, pre-made art.
99% of users have their phone on sound or vibrate, not on true silent
The Leaky Faucet
Putting your phone on “vibrate” is not silence. It’s just a different kind of noise. It’s the constant, low-level drip of a leaky faucet in the background of your life. True “silent” mode, with no sounds and no vibrations, is fixing that leak. It’s only in the profound, uninterrupted quiet that you can achieve the deep focus and presence that modern life so often denies us. Don’t just quiet the noise; turn it off completely.
This one small action of turning your phone into a “dumb phone” on weekends (by disabling all but essential apps) will recharge your mind
The Weekend Camping Trip for Your Brain
A “digital dumb phone” weekend is a camping trip for your mind. You leave the chaotic, noisy city (your fully-featured smartphone) behind and retreat to a quiet cabin in the woods. You still have the essentials—a way to make an emergency call and a map—but the constant noise, the endless demands, and the overwhelming stimulation are gone. It’s a period of profound rest and recovery that allows you to return to the city on Monday morning feeling refreshed, recharged, and re-centered.
Use your phone to listen to calming music or a meditation app, not just for stimulation
The Fire and the Fire Extinguisher
Your phone is a master of stimulation. It’s a pocket-sized bonfire of exciting, engaging, and often stressful content. But that same device can also be a powerful fire extinguisher. It can be a source of profound calm. By consciously choosing to use it for a guided meditation, a calming playlist, or a soothing podcast, you are using the tool to counteract the very anxiety it so often creates. You are using the source of the fire to put out the flames.
Stop using your phone as a memory aid for everything. Do try to remember some things on your own
The Muscle of Memory
Your memory is a muscle. If you use a crane (your phone) to lift every single object in your life, your own muscles will atrophy and become weak. While it’s incredibly useful to offload shopping lists and obscure facts to our digital brains, it’s also important to exercise our own. Make an effort to remember a friend’s phone number, or the directions to a familiar place. These small, daily workouts are essential for keeping your own memory muscle strong and healthy.
Stop just setting a timer. Do name the timer in the clock app so you know what it’s for
The Labeled Kitchen Timers
Imagine you’re cooking a big meal and you have three identical, unlabeled timers on the counter. When one goes off, you have no idea if it’s for the chicken, the potatoes, or the cake. It’s chaos. Naming your timers is like putting a clear label on each one. When the alarm rings, your phone doesn’t just buzz; it says, “Your 15-minute break is over,” or “Switch the laundry.” It’s a simple trick that adds a layer of clarity and reduces the mental load of juggling multiple tasks.
The #1 hack is to find a replacement behavior for when you feel the urge to check your phone
The Healthy Snack for Your Brain’s Craving
The urge to check your phone is a craving, like a sudden craving for a sugary snack. Just trying to ignore it often makes it stronger. The best hack is to have a healthy, pre-planned replacement snack ready. When you feel the urge, instead of opening your phone, you will stretch for 30 seconds, take three deep breaths, or drink a glass of water. By replacing the unhealthy habit with a healthy one, you satisfy the brain’s need for a “break” while actively improving your wellbeing.
I’m just going to say it: Your smartphone has made you less patient
The Instant Gratification Machine
Your smartphone is an instant gratification machine. You want to know a fact? The answer is instant. You want to see a friend? Their face is instantly on your screen. You want to buy something? It will be at your door tomorrow. We have trained our brains to expect instant results for everything. This has eroded our “patience muscle,” making us less able to tolerate the normal, slower, and often more rewarding pace of real, offline life.
The reason you’re always late is you’re trying to squeeze in “one last check” of your phone before you leave
The Black Hole of Time
You have your shoes on, your keys in your hand, and you’re ready to leave. You have five minutes to spare. You think, “I’ll just have one quick look at my phone.” This is a fatal error. That “one quick look” is a black hole. Its gravitational pull is immense. What feels like 30 seconds is, in reality, seven minutes. That final, unnecessary check is the reason you are constantly, and frustratingly, just a little bit late for everything.
If you’re still using your phone in bed, you’re telling your brain that your bed is a place for work and entertainment, not sleep
The Confused Bedroom
Your brain learns through association. If the only thing you do in your bed is sleep, your brain will know that when you get into bed, it’s time to shut down. But if you also use your bed as an office, a movie theater, and a restaurant, your brain becomes confused. It no longer sees the bed as a dedicated sanctuary for rest. By making your bed a “sleep-only zone,” you are creating a powerful psychological trigger that will help you fall asleep faster and more deeply.
The biggest lie is that these tools are making us more connected. In many ways, they are making us more isolated
The Illusion of Connection
Our phones give us the illusion of connection. We have a thousand “friends,” and we can see what they had for lunch. But this is a wide, shallow connection, like a giant lake that is only an inch deep. It has displaced the deep, meaningful, face-to-face connections that truly nourish us. We have traded the deep, narrow well of real community for the vast, shallow lake of digital networks, and we are dying of thirst.
I wish I knew that the urge to check my phone was just a feeling, and that feelings pass if you don’t act on them
The Passing Cloud
The urge to check your phone feels like an urgent, unbearable command. But it’s not a command; it’s just a feeling. And a feeling is like a cloud passing in the sky. It appears, it lingers for a moment, and if you just watch it without reacting, it will float away on its own. The mistake we make is thinking we have to “do” something about the cloud. By learning to simply notice the urge and not act on it, you reclaim your power over the passing weather of your mind.
99% of users have never tried leaving their phone at home on purpose for a short errand
The Training Wheels Come Off
Remember the terrifying, thrilling moment when the training wheels came off your bike for the first time? That’s what leaving your phone at home feels like. A short trip to the grocery store or a walk around the block without your digital safety net is a powerful act of liberation. It proves to your brain that you can navigate the world on your own. It’s a small, safe experiment in freedom that can help break the subconscious belief that you “need” your phone to survive.
This one small habit of unfollowing or muting one negative account per day will curate a healthier digital space forever
The Gentle Gardener
Your social media feed is a garden. Every day, a few weeds will pop up. You don’t need to spend a whole weekend pulling every weed at once. Just commit to pulling one single weed every day. By unfollowing or muting one account that is negative, draining, or makes you feel bad, you are performing a small, sustainable act of gardening. Over time, your digital garden will be transformed from a weedy, overgrown lot into a beautiful, nourishing space that you actually want to spend time in.
Use technology to facilitate real-world interactions, not as a substitute for them
The Map, Not the Destination
Technology is a brilliant map. It can help you discover new places, coordinate with friends, and find the best path to get there. But the map is not the destination. The goal is not to spend your life staring at the map. The goal is to use the map to get to the beautiful, real-world destination where you can have a real conversation, share a real meal, and have a real experience with other human beings. Use the tool to get to the place, then put the tool away.
Stop letting your phone be a source of anxiety. Do make it a tool that serves your values
The Tool on the Wall
A hammer is a tool. It sits on the wall, and it does not buzz, ding, or demand your attention. When you need to hang a picture, you pick it up, you use it for its intended purpose, and then you put it back on the wall. Your phone should be that hammer. It should be a silent, waiting tool that serves your goals and your values. You are the carpenter, and it is the tool. Not the other way around.
Stop using your phone to avoid your own thoughts
The Scariest Room in the House
For many of us, the scariest room in the house is the quiet room where we are alone with our own thoughts. We will do anything to avoid going in there. The phone is our favorite and most effective avoidance tool. But it is only in that quiet room that we can truly process our emotions, understand our own motivations, and find a sense of inner peace. Be brave. Put the phone down and spend a few minutes in the quiet room. It’s not as scary as you think.
The #1 secret for a parent is to model healthy phone behavior for your children
The “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” Fallacy
You can give your children a hundred lectures about healthy eating, but if they see you eating junk food on the couch every single night, your words are meaningless. Children learn by observing, not by listening. The single most powerful form of “parental control” is your own behavior. If you put your phone away at dinner, if you don’t scroll while talking to them, and if you have your own screen-free hobbies, you are giving them a lesson that no app or lecture could ever match.
I’m just going to say it: You’ve probably missed a beautiful sunset because you were looking down at your phone
The Stolen Moments
Sunsets, a stranger’s smile, a bird landing on a branch, the funny shape of a cloud—these are the small, beautiful, un-Googleable moments that make up a life. They are fleeting and they demand one thing: your presence. Every time we pull out our phone to fill a moment of “boredom,” we are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to witness these tiny, magical events. The digital world is infinite, but the number of sunsets in your life is not. Look up.
The reason you feel so strongly about online arguments is the lack of non-verbal cues and human connection
The Argument in a Dark Room
An online argument is like two people yelling at each other from opposite sides of a dark room. You can’t see their facial expression, you can’t hear their tone of voice, and you can’t feel their presence. All you have are the cold, disembodied words on a screen. This lack of human context makes it easy to assume the worst, to dehumanize the other person, and to escalate the conflict. It’s an environment that is perfectly designed for misunderstanding and outrage.
If you’re still getting breaking news alerts, you’re letting a news organization inject stress directly into your nervous system
The Emergency Broadcast System for Non-Emergencies
Breaking news alerts are designed to mimic an emergency broadcast. They are meant to jolt you out of your current state and force you to pay attention. But 99.9% of “breaking news” is not a personal emergency. It is information that can wait. By allowing these alerts, you are giving a media company a remote control that can press the “panic” button in your brain at any time of day, for their own financial benefit. Turn it off. You can catch up on the news on your own schedule.
The biggest lie is that you need to have an opinion on everything happening in the world
The Global Town Hall
The internet has turned the entire world into a single, massive town hall where a million different debates are happening all at once. The lie is that you are required to stand up and have a loud, well-formed opinion on every single one of them. This is an impossible and exhausting task. It is okay to be a quiet observer. It is okay to say, “I don’t know enough about that to have a strong opinion.” It is okay to focus your energy on the few topics you genuinely care about.
I wish I knew that the goal wasn’t to stop using my phone, but to use it with intention
The Car in the Garage
The goal of healthy living is not to sell your car and never drive again. The goal is to use your car as a tool, with intention. You don’t just get in and drive aimlessly for eight hours a day. You use it to get to work, to visit friends, or to go on a scenic drive. The same is true for your phone. The goal is not total abstinence. The goal is to transform your usage from a mindless, passive habit into a series of conscious, intentional choices.
99% of users consume far more than they create on their devices
The Couch vs. The Workbench
Your phone can be a comfortable couch, a place where you passively consume an endless stream of entertainment created by other people. Or, it can be a powerful workbench, a place where you use its tools to create something new. The vast majority of us spend our digital lives on the couch. Try flipping that ratio. For every hour you spend consuming, spend ten minutes creating—write a sentence, edit a photo, record a thought. The satisfaction is infinitely greater.
This one small action of replacing a social media app on your homescreen with a book-reading app will change your habits forever
The Path of Least Resistance
Our habits follow the path of least resistance. If the cookie jar is on the counter, we will eat cookies. If a social media app is on your homescreen, you will open it. By moving that app and replacing its prime, front-page real estate with a book-reading app or a language-learning app, you are rerouting the path. You are making your desired habit the easy, default choice, and making your undesired habit just a little bit harder to get to.
Use your phone to call someone, not just text them
The Voice in the Letter
Texting is a wonderful and convenient way to send a letter. But a letter can never replace the sound of a person’s voice. A phone call conveys tone, emotion, and laughter in a way that a thousand emojis never can. It is a higher-bandwidth form of human connection. The next time you find yourself in a long, back-and-forth text conversation, try a simple experiment. Press the call button. You might be surprised at the depth of connection you’ve been missing.